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Hey there you Beautiful Soul!
I’ll be honest with you by saying that these are my favourite posts to write. I love talking about personal growth and self-love.
You beautiful girl are loved, worthy, and strong. I want you to know, that nobody is as strong as you are, or has fought the battles that you have.
Nobody knows the storms that you have had to endure, nor have they been asked to walk through them. But you are here, and you are a powerful force of love and greatness.
It all begins with self-love and when you tap into your inner source, it is there that you are capable of anything
You are a beautiful BADASS girly!
So, let’s do this thing.
Quick story before we get started – I promise, it will be super quick!
So to cut straight to it:
My man and I were in Niagara Falls, and I had not been feeling my ‘best self’. I had been feeling “ugly” and “insecure”, and it just truly felt HORRIBLE.
I was taking my time getting ready due to me not feeling like my normal badass self in hopes that I could muster up some insta “hot girl disguise magic“. I consider myself fortunate because my man never complains when I’m doing the “things”, he often spends it relaxing (except this one time when he finally had enough and said, “NOBODY CARES ABOUT YOUR DAMN SHOELACES!”).
So… he had gone down to the hotel lobby to hang out, while I did that little bit of personal pampering to put an extra skip in my step. I finally finished, looked in the mirror, and said “let’s go beautiful” and away I went.
Unfortunately, they had been doing some maintenance on the elevator, and we were on the 9th floor. It took what felt like forever to get down to the lobby, only for me to realize I had forgotten my passport upstairs. (We were going shopping across the border).
As I was riding up and down on this lone wolf elevator, the dude working on the other one was laughing at me because I kept realizing everything I was forgetting up in our damn room. I went up and down about three times! (It ended up being more than just a passport that I forgot).
By this point, my man was not as “friendly” as he usually is when he waits. When I finally got out to the car, I looked over at him with a smile, and before he could comment I said, “I appreciate you waiting for me. I’d say I’m sorry, but I’m not. I look FANTABULOUS”.
He did his typical eye-roll at me and we were off.
It was a shitty situation. Time is valuable. I already felt like crap, and then the inconvenience piled on top did not help the situation. I could have met him at his level of annoyance (which he was rightfully entitled to), or pivot. I chose to keep a positive attitude because it was what was best for me and him.
Sometimes we need to treat ourselves. I can’t sit around and wait for someone else to tell me I look pretty or fabulous. I need to feel it and tell myself. And since that day I tell myself constantly and I FEEL it. I practiced telling myself that ALL weekend we were there.
So try it! It works. (Maybe try to remember everything though, so that way you don’t have to ride the elevator multiple times and waste yours or anyone else’s time.)
Okay! NOW… LET DO THIS THING!
Here are your 5 Tips for Self-Love:
1. Fill Your Cup Up First
If you have nothing for yourself, you have nothing to give.
I’ve had to learn to stop laughing at #SelfCareDay and start utilizing it. It was only when I finally started putting myself first and doing some of the things that I truly love, that those around me felt my love in return.
Happiness radiates outward, therefore it is not selfish to ensure you are happy first because you affect the people around you whether you are happy or miserable.
It is fair to no one if you are half in your head and half with them. When you beat to your own drum, it doesn’t mean you are being selfish. It means you are staying true to who you are and people can FEEL that. So you do you boo.
Today I do what truly sets my soul on fire and it allows me to show up for those that I love.
If you haven’t grabbed my Ultimate Morning Routine that helps me with this, make sure to check it out HERE!
2. If You Want To Grow You Must Be Open And Vulnerable
What the fuck is vulnerability?
Vulnerability Defined: Exposed to the possibility of being attacked or harmed either physically or emotionally.
When I first heard the word vulnerable, I thought “Now that’s some scary shit right there.” I had zero interest in putting myself in the line of fire as a target to be hurt.
What did I need to be open about? My feelings?… Gross.
If you want to grow while you are on the path to loving yourself, you need to set boundaries as to what is and isn’t acceptable in your life. And sometimes that means putting yourself out there and speaking your truth.
You’ll learn that I think dictionary definitions are unrealistic for a human being’s actual sense of emotions. Vulnerability is courageous AF.
“Vulnerability is the birthplace of love, belonging, joy, courage, empathy, and creativity.” – Brene Brown
Did you know that the original definition of Courage is to speak one’s mind by telling all one’s heart?
You may be walking into the lion’s den, but at the end of the day you are coming out a hero with your self-worth.
So feel the fear and do it any way you badass. Love yourself!
3. Love Your Body.
It is amazing what the mind can do. I can wake up and think I look horrible, or wake up and tell myself I am beautiful.
But get this, I can say either of those things to myself and step on the scale… and weigh the same amount. The numbers are relative. It all begins with self-love.
Every stretch mark and every scar is proof of the battles we have faced. Love your body and treat it with love.
I find far too often, illness is based around our mentality of not being good enough, feeling lazy or lethargic; yet if we just go outside and embrace the fresh air we begin to feel better.
In 2018 I gained 25 pounds in one month. I judged myself super harshly for it. I couldn’t stay off the scale. I spent hours at the gym with zero progress. I felt absolutely devastated.
I stressed out about everything I put into my mouth. I would want a cookie so badly, yet I would make something healthy instead. Only to return to the kitchen an hour later to eat the cookie and more.
I had to get past the feeling of limiting myself from the things I love. I had to find a healthy balance. I quit with the “yoyo diets”. And loved me for me.
I eat the cookie today and don’t judge myself for it.
4. Stop judging yourself.
This one is huge!
I could write a whole post on this one.
Let’s pretend for a moment:
You’re at an event and you compliment Karen on how fabulous she looks in her little black dress.
Her response, “Thanks, I was going to wear my red one, but it showed my roll here, and it made my butt look big…”
…It is right here that I give you full permission to roll your eyes, tell Karen to shut the fuck up, slap her if necessary, and tell her to take a compliment.
I mean don’t do that literally. I’m not responsible if you slap her. Don’t be an animal.
But please ask yourself:
- Do you know how to accept a compliment?
- Do you say thank you?
- Do you rebuttal and make an excuse for why you shouldn’t be receiving one?
You don’t get to call yourself down anymore. You’re a badass remember?
Take the damn compliment. You already told yourself you looked fantabulous when you walked out the door. So this should be easy.
A great way to stop yourself from this is to throw compliments like confetti.
When you receive a compliment you can give one back. OR genuinely thank the person and tell them that they made your day. This stops you from merely saying thank you… followed by that awkward silence where you feel like you require an explanation.
I don’t know that’s just me, I’m a work in progress too. I’m not perfect, however, that helps me.
Let go of who you think the world expects you to be and just be who you truly are.
5. Know your worth and love yourself. There’s no other option!
You must be kind and gentle with yourself. You know the old saying, “treat others how you want to be treated”.
You’re a badass and fantabulously awesome.
Listen, this is when it’s time to be real with you.
Nobody like’s a cocky asshole. Nowhere did I say, you get to be an asshole to others. I’m pretty sure I told you not to be an asshole quite a few times.
Loving yourself means knowing that you are valuable in this world. That you are worthy and you are loved. You were specifically chosen to make a mark on this earth.
Your time is now. Don’t waste it.
So ask yourself:
- Is where you are bringing you joy, or does it threaten your happiness?
- Do you have self-respect for yourself? Are you proud and confident about who you are?
- Are you doing the things that you believe are important?
- Is your life turning out the way you want it to?
- What is your standard for what is and isn’t acceptable behavior for you? Is it the same as it is for others?
- Are you shocked by something happening to someone else, but yet you allow it to happen to you?
By asking yourself these questions you can measure your self-worth. It is not meant to be a form of judgment upon yourself. It is meant to point yourself in the direction of being able to say – “YES! I deserve more”.
And to be honest, we could all love ourselves more.
So with that, this takes practice.
5 Self- Love Practices:
1. Fill your cup up by doing what sets your soul on fire. Share the overflow with others.
2. Be vulnerable and speak your mind by telling all your heart with love. Feel the fear and do it anyway. It’s the only way to grow.
3. We are all sexy warriors with battle scars to prove it. Eat a damn cookie and stay off the scale. If you don’t like your body, then do something about it. Nobody is going to do it for you.
4. Throw compliments like confetti – to yourself included.
5. Know your self-worth. You were specifically chosen to be here and make a mark on this earth.
Greatness is a decision and your birthright! You got this!